Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
