My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
