Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
