I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They took my balls.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
