She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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