We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
