everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
