Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
