I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm passing your future prison.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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