You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
