Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
