She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize