I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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