hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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