So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
