Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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