ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
