just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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