Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
