how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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