you win again, gameday.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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