She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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