Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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