Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
