can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
