I saw his package. It spoke to me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
