hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
