you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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