I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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