She said her name was "party"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
