Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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