You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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