Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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