Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
