I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
