Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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