Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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