I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
