Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize