Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife

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(806): View more from Texas

Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...

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(228): View more from Mississippi

yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.

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(716): View more from New York

do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die

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(904): View more from Florida

Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.

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(707): View more from California

So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.

(1-707): View more from California

That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad

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