Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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