i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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