I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We left the knife in your bed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am naked and annoyed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
