i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
