if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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