During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
