is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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