Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
