I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
