it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
