Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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