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you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
