i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
