Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
