so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have feelings that need drinking.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
