My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
