i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
