Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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