I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
