just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
