We won't sleep together?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I will pee on everything he values.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
