hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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