He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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