i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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