i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
