I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I could fuck to npr.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
