garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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